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Dream it, then do it.

As I mentioned in my last post, I had a lot going on and some major changes had happened in my life. I left my assistant manager job for professional and personal reasons, I launched my Nerium skincare business, and then proceeded to apply to a plethora of jobs! I love the opportunities and challenges of being a business owner but I knew that I wanted the income from that to build a big nest egg with and thus I needed full-time work. After a plethora of interviews with various retailers, I took a chance and cancelled an interview to have an immediate second interview with a company I truly could envision myself at. I'm normally not one to cancel interviews but I had a feeling and I've learned to trust my instinct. After my fourth interview last Thursday, I received the call. As someone who spent the last few weeks job hunting, receiving the "we would love you to join our team" phone call is THE BEST FEELING EVER. It was one of those moments where I almost burst into a happy dance at H&M as I was doing a little post-interview browsing... Obviously a plethora of phone calls and texts occurred and then pleasant feeling of "damn... it feels good to be wanted."

That being said, I am pleased to announce I am joining the management team as an assistant manager for a flagship shoe store in NYC. Shoes are a girl's best friend - I can't wait to start on Monday! My birthday was last week and receiving that job phone call was the perfect present! Though last week was filled with all sorts of goodness - birthday dinner on the Hudson, beers with a few good friends on my official birthday, and of course receiving the job offer.

One thing I've learned from the last year is to let go of the bad, to bring in the good. Life happens, there are things beyond your control. But you can control yourself - your thoughts, your actions, your positive thinking. I spent a good portion of the last year (especially in May and June), not feeling good about my self, that I wasn't worthy. I've always struggled with self esteem issues whether dealing with social status and friendships, my weight, or at the very core - not loving myself.  Yes, I've lost 40 pounds and I am working on getting into even better shape. Yes, I've gone through a plethora of hairstyles the last year from a mohawk to a pixie cut to the short bob I'm rocking now. Yes, I went from funky fashionable to a little more "buttoned up" and now I may be somewhere in between? Yes, I loved someone with my whole heart though deep down I knew it probably wouldn't work. Yes, I did all things things to alter my appearance and I loved because I thought it would make me better. The reality is it didn't do anything to make me better. Towards the end of May until July 2 was one of the tougher times of my life emotionally, physically, and mentally. I cried so much. I was miserable. I hated my job most days, my relationship had ended, I questioned my own values. My counselor did an amazing job to help me learn my "triggers" and to value my own self worth. On the evening of July 2, I quit my job. I couldn't do it anymore. My pride and passion towards my work was gone.

The last (almost) month it's been a journey - I am re-developing my confidence. My self worth is dependent on ME. I am a leader. I am a business owner. I am a woman. I am confident, strong, and sexy. I am beautiful and pretty. I still have issues seeing myself in the mirror sometimes but they're slowly fading. I am learning to love me. I have dreams to build my Nerium business - to earn that Lexus and the "Live Better" bonus. I am capable. I can do this. New York's a tough world but I outgrew "my pond" in Virginia. I moved up north to build a better life. To grow and to prosper. One thing that's helped with my personal development is reading Jeff Olson's The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness. My own growth may take some time but I will succeed - I will do it. Personal, professional, my own heart's growth - I will create the life I want to live. I will live it and love it. Sometimes I feel alone up here but at the end of the day I am still connected whether it's a phone call, a text, or a Facebook message.

The lesson from all this is to DREAM IT, THEN DO IT. I was so hungry, so feverish, and so eager to quit my job and I did. I let go over the bad and I am now overcome with good. Dream big. Overcome your fears and your what-if's. Let go and let God/Buddha/whomever your spiritual being is. Let it be, believe in yourself, and control your own self-worth. If you develop your inner-self, the rest will follow... New beginnings will come.